18 Nov 2011

The Author

Allen Hébert is a cradle Catholic who works in the Information Technology field, he attended Catholic schools all his life and is currently pursuing a Masters of Theology through the Distance Learning program at Franciscan University of Steubenville. Allen and his wife Denae, have been married for over 20 years and they have been blessed with nine children. They live in Northwest Austin and attend St. William Catholic Church.
Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child

Our society has become a society of children, there is ample evidence to back up my claim.  Think about how a child acts, they have a short attention span, they easily change their mind, they see something in the checkout line at the grocery store and they want to buy it.  If a child doesn’t get their way, they might throw a temper tantrum.  I  witness child like behavior from adults all the time.  We see it demonstrated in TV shows, and movies, this behavior is portrayed as funny and thus glorified.

I was recently on a short flight from Houston to Austin and I was sitting behind a guy who was repeatedly disregarding the flight attendants instructions.  He wasn’t angry or belligerent, just completely ignoring the normal rules that are always enforced on flights these days.  He didn’t turn off his electronics, kept texting on the phone during the flight, and only a few moments after departure, while the airplane was still climbing at 2,000 feet per minute, got up and attempted to go to the restroom despite the crew members orders directing him to return to his seat.  When we arrived in Austin, we were instructed to remain in our seats even though we were parked at the gate, this guy still had a hard time abiding by this final directive, but eventually he sat back down.  The rear of the airplane started to applaud as two officers boarded the airplane and escorted him off for interrogation.

As parents, we are obligated to discipline our children, without our loving guidance, they could grow up and be to be an immature adult that will be disciplined by less loving members of society.  Most children are naturally selfish and unruly early in their lives, it is our job as parents to transform them from selfish children into mature adults that respect lawful authority.  The root of many evils in our society is immaturity, selfishness and a lack of self discipline.  The discipline we apply to our children is not just to protect them from imminent harm, but also imparts important lessons in self-discipline as they move into adulthood.  In St. Paul’s letter to the Romans, he explains that, “discipline always seems painful rather than pleasant at the time, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it”.

Discipline Tools

One of the most common questions parents have is when it is appropriate to begin to discipline their children and how do you do it.  You need to pick your battles, but the battle you pick could greatly decrease the number of battles you encounter.  Disrespect and willful disobedience should never be tolerated and in our family we expect first time obedience.

The key is to effective discipline is consistency, no exceptions, if you say that their favorite toy will be taken away if they don’t put their toys up, then you better take that toy away if they disobey.  If you don’t your credibility will be severely diminished.  Don’t make the threat if you are unwilling or unable to follow through.  Consequences should be appropriate to the offense and to the child.

For specific ideas on the when and how of discipline, please read my article entitled, “Practical Discipline” on my personal blog at www.go-bless.com

Discipline is one of the most difficult tasks that a parent can undertake, but the rewards are heavenly.

2 Comments
  • http://rosarynovice.stblogs.com/ Augustine

    Actually, there are two simultaneous extremes in our society that are quite disheartening and are probably signs of a deep neurotic malaise. 

    One encourages, or even normalizes, patronizing people in a most lenient way, but only in the interactions among people, be they in the family, circle of friendships, workplace or are even complete strangers.  This extreme calls for no judgment from one on another, for the acceptance of certain anti-social behaviors and even their enthronement as virtue.

    The other outsources all these restraints on the state or any other lesser authority figure, bringing about the disrespect for the person and draconian reactions by brutes in uniform.

    This situation illustrates my points very clearly.  On one hand, we have an infantile adult surrounded by adults that in their silence consent to his anti-social behavior, scared by the walls erected by our society among individuals.  On the other hand, we have the same adults who were cowering in their seats applaud when the immature adult is taken to interrogation, as if it were a proportional and reasonable punishment for an adult being a jerk.

    But it doesn’t stop here.  People are often afraid of even thinking for themselves in all matters.  They seek the opinion of authority figures, even when the person in this position has no particular insight into the details that make each situation unique.  So we see the proliferation of self-help gurus, which do nothing but pontificate how people ought to act and think, betraying the purported purpose of “self-help”.  But people are blind to the blatant contradiction of calling “self-help” when someone else helps them.  Or, perhaps more insidious in a democracy, when people bows at the opinion of so-called experts, even when it may dramatically affect their lives.  But also in small matters, as I could see a few weeks ago when a cop let a car through the red light and the driver obeyed him blindly, even though the cop was not controlling the other part of the divided road, barely missing an oncoming car at 60MPH.

    Bp. Sheen, IIRC, called neurosis a lie we told ourselves that we forgot was a lie.  Americans pride themselves to be the free in this land, to be highly individualistic and masters of their destiny, but the reality demonstrates this to be a lie, at least in the present age.

  • http://contrariwise.burned-bridges.net Lindsay

    I absolutely agree with your point about consistency. I’ve never had kids of my own, but I used to be a teacher, and I never made empty threats. Even when I’d accidentally threatened something a little ridiculous, I followed through.

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