[girl·code] n. the unwritten understanding between girls
(If you haven’t already figured out, this one is for the ladies. Sorry gentlemen.)
My friend and I’s “Girl Code” from the third grade probably contained the following nuggets of wisdom:
- Boys have cooties. Stay away from them unless you’ve got your cootie shot.
- Don’t reveal who-likes-who when sworn to confidence
- and, always help your bestie find out if that guy “like likes” her back
Today, as a twenty-something single Catholic girl, the girl code is getting an update. Here are a few items off my Single Gal’s girl code.
Find good (girl) friends and pursue relationships that bring you closer to Christ.
Some of my best friends are people that I can run a 5K with, will accompany me to Confession and then enjoy a great meal with after Mass – all in the same day.
I made a lot of good Catholic friends in college through the Catholic Student Center, but now as I find myself settling into the routine of a full time job and being a grown up (whatever that means), I have to make an effort to find friends with my same interests.
Find a good role model or mentor.
We, as Catholics, have no shortage of strong women role models to look up to and aspire to be. Of course, at the top of that list is our Mother, Mary. She is our ultimate model for modesty and virtue.
We also have numerous saints such as Joan of Arc, St. Gianna Beretta Molla, St. Faustina and many other strong women of faith to intercede on behalf of us in heaven.
In college, my professors encouraged me to find a mentor that could help me navigate the ins-and-outs of my first career and beyond. I suppose this also is a good idea for your faith . Find someone you can talk to about your faith and your journey, or maybe consider spiritual direction with your parish priest.
Love and respect yourself, For you a blessed daughter of Christ.
Ah, the part where we talk about modesty. I think so often it’s easy to view modesty as making sure your skirt hits your knees or your shoulders are covered each week at Mass, but it really goes way beyond just how you’re dressed.
Guard your heart.
Often we speak about chastity in the context of being pure with our bodies, respecting our sexuality and saving sex for marriage. But, we are not just bodies, we have hearts, minds and souls and chastity is about purity in all those areas.
How often is it easy to get caught up in the grand romantic notion of a Nicholas Sparks novel or movie or find ourselves planning a future wedding to a prince on our Pinterest boards?
But how is that fair to our future relationships? We have to be careful not to let our imaginations take over our real life-relationships. It’s simply dangerous for our hearts.
So, just as we choose to be chaste with our bodies, we need to be aware of keeping our hearts and minds pure.
These are just a few of the items found in my Catholic “girl code” and yes, I realize that most of these are just good practically all around advice that just happen to be helpful during my life at this moment in time.
So, what about you? Do you have any additions or other suggestions? I’d love you hear your feedback in the comments!